Choosing To Not Choose Is A Choice
“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.” – William James
Choosing not to choose is a choice. You are abdicating your preferences, leaving others to choose for you. They normally do not choose what you want, and then, you are disappointed. Our brain is tricky, and turns that disappointment into resentment of the other person, and that is a bad omen, especially for relationships. I see this frequently. One person thinks if they do not speak up, the other person will be happy, and that, in turn, will make them happy. Instead, they are disappointed, frustrated, and do not like whatever the other person has decided. The brain turns this into, “They are so selfish. They do not care about me at all.” This resentment then erupts into harsh fights, and eventually, the end of the relationship, if not treated.
Instead, speak up, start gently. Ask for your preference. Open that conversation. People who love you truly want to know.